Here are the top jokes of the night, including some of Obama's according to ABCNews.com:
Kimmel: “If you told me when I was a kid I would be standing on a dais with President Barack Obama, I would have said, ‘The president’s name is Barack Obama?’
- Obama: “Four years ago, I was locked in a brutal primary battle with Hillary Clinton. Four years later she won’t stop drunk-texting me from Cartegana.”
- Kimmel to Obama: “Remember when the country rallied around you in hope for a better tomorrow? That was a good one.”
- Obama on Romney: “We both have degrees from Harvard. I have one, he has two. What a snob.”
- Kimmel on Obama’s thinness: “This is how you know the country’s in bad shape. The president is starving. North Korea is sending him food aid.”
- Obama: “Last year at this time, this very weekend, we finally delivered justice to one of the world’s most notorious individuals, (Photo of Donald Trump)”
- Kimmel: “There’s a term for guys like President. Probably not two terms.”
- Obama: “What is the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull? A pitbull is delicious.”
- Kimmel: “”The president wanted to move it to the Kennedy Center, and the Republicans wanted to keep it at the Hilton. So, they compromised and here we are at the Hilton.”
- Obama: “Here we are in this vast magnificent Hilton ballroom, what Mitt Romney would call a fixer upper.”
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